The sound of silence.

I have woken up some mornings before the sun comes up, and I just sit there in silences. There are no dogs barking, the birds are not awake yet, the television is off, my phone is not ringing; all of my responsibilities have melted away (at least for now). Everything in the world seems to be still. I love every second of it. Sometimes it just feels good to be the only one in the world. It is the beautiful sound of silence.

            When the sun starts to peak over all the buildings and trees, the birds start talking, the dogs start barking and everything seems to come to life. It is as though the worlds’ heart started pumping again. The days go by rather quickly. With everything this world has to throw at you it just seems as though we have no time for ourselves. But when the sun goes back down and everyone goes in for the night, that sound of silence comes back. At last, I am the only one in the world again.

Gays and Pigs

I talked to a friend today about homosexuality. He told me it is caused by sin; usually something to do with the father leaving a void in a boy’s heart and that boy is trying to fill that void. I agree to a point, but I don’t think that this “void” always leads to becoming gay. I searched in a lot of places to fill this void (not that my father wasn’t there, I didn’t really received the attention I need… but who really did?). None the less, I didn’t become attracted to boys. But i do know that homosexuality can be caused by a chemical imbalance that takes place altering a man’s/boy’s brain, not so much making it into a woman’s brain, but it does modify it. Now, if a man is born this way and he is told that it is wrong for him to be this way, should he go against everything he feels and wants and “make” himself become attracted to women just because it is not a sin, or is not wrong. It’s like me in high school; I didn’t want to be there and there for I did a terrible job. A gay man would not make a good husband/ lover to a woman… they both would live empty lives.

            Now let’s take a look at sin in general. In God’s eyes, sin is sin, and according to the Christian bible, one type of sin is no worse than another. For instance, if the bible commands you to not commit murder (Matthew 5:21-26, Mark 10:19) and you do, it would be a sin. If the bible tells you not to eat pork (Deuteronomy 14:8) and you do, it’s a sin; these two sins are equal in God's eyes. Now one of these sins obviously does more harm to people here on earth, but the bible still speaks against both of them. The bible also commands us not to steal (Luke 18:20). How does this apply to our homosexual marriages? Religious people say that homosexual marriages are wrong because they are blatantly living in sin (1 Corinthians 6:9). I am surprised as to how many people eat bacon in their breakfast before or after church. I am surprised and even a part of the people who download music for free; even when me or people I know knew it was wrong, we still did it. So aren’t we deliberately living in sin? Some people will argue that Jesus came and some of these laws we do not have to live by anymore; but that is another topic to discuss.        

            What am I really trying to prove with this post? Nothing, I guess. I am not saying that I am for gay marriages but I am definitely not against them. So I guess my final thought is this: clean the crap out your own yard, stop pointing at other people’s yards as if they are messier than yours and stop judging people; that is God’s job.

Power...

Music… there isn’t a whole lot of words you can use to describe the feelings that you get from “that one song” you may have heard a summer long ago or in a friends basement you no longer converse with. But when you do hear it, it transmits you right back to the place you were when you first heard it. An ex lover or friend, a feeling of emptiness or joy; even both simultaneously are feelings that will hit you. Sometimes it will open the memory back up as soon as you hear the first note of the song. Tonight I played a song and as soon as it started my heart sank into my chest just as it did seven years ago; that is how powerful music is. Even a song from a movie that may identify with a particular segment of your life can trigger those thoughts and feeling you had when you first saw the movie. You may have just overheard it in the background at a friend’s house during a some sort of party; but it will still take you right back to that part of your life as if you never moved on. Music itself comes to life; the words just give it more of a vibrant character. When it plays, your ears may hear it… but your soul feels it. The reason I write this is because today I resurrected my ipod which is full of music from my past. It is as though a piece of my soul had been found. Sentiments of almost everything I have ever felt in my life surrounding music were brought back into my soul/body. That is the power of music.

When it's over

It seems as though I spend too much time whining about stupid pettily stuff; the government, what they’re taking out of schools and allowing them to put in. my life is pretty decent and I have little to complain about but it seems I just find little stuff, meaning less stuff, to talk about. Someone posted that I do it for attention; letting my pride fall, I strongly agree. Sometimes I just want certain people to talk to me but I end up offending them. Friendships in my life have been cut and I have burned bridges trying to seek out attention. I guess in this case I am sick of chasing, that’s what I was doing in the first place. I feel like I am playing against the “too cool” attitude game and I am not cool enough to play. When it all comes down to it, I guess I’m not cool; if there is such a thing. Then again, is this just one more little pettily thing for me to bleat about. If the horse is dead… dismount.